Obituaries, still....stilled

A throbbing pain pricking at some sensitive corner of my mind,
A sickening feeling never leaves me alone...never in peace,
A slow poison not strong enough to kill but to leave me struggling for my life,
A dull ache pushing me more n more towards insanity...questioning my sanity,
A truth I'm scared to accept
A past I'm unable to escape
Sapping out all the happiness and leaving me to die in misery drowned in my own sorrow?
If to end is the only end ..then why not ...a sharp pain, a single blow to Silence the moan ?